Atlanta Housewife Sheree Whitfield in Serious Denial

If ever there was someone in denial, it’s former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Sheree Whitfield.

I just finished watching this week’s episode of Iyanla Fix My Life with Sheree and her ex-husband, former NFLer Bob Whitfield.

Sheree could not acknowledge her wounds no matter how big the picture Iyanla painted.

She couldn’t see past her ego to recognize the truth when Iyanla said that her unfinished mansion represented the incompleteness of her life.

Or the truth that she is angry and bitter.

Sheree admitted to a “little” anger and bitterness but only in the sense that she’s justified in having it.

I use Sheree as an example of an angry woman who hasn’t dealt with her issues in my book, Dancing to the Rhythm of My Soul: A Sister’s Guide to Transforming Madness into Gladness.

The signs are classic.

The bad-ass attitude, the public displays of rage, the materialism.

The lack of a relationship with her father, who never bought her the toy she most wanted.

Sheree said she called Iyanla to help her and Bob co-parent their children.

Iyanla tried to show her that her inability to co-parent is a symptom of her inability to forgive Bob and move forward.

Her inability to get past her pain.

Sheree sees weakness in admitting the hold she has allowed Bob to have over her even six years after divorcing him.

When Iyanla tries to hold up a mirror, Sheree looks the other way. Says Iyanla is attacking her. Asking irrelevant questions.

This isn’t what she was expecting.

Iyanla wasn’t supposed to examine her life. Ask her to do some introspection. Or tell her point blank that the mansion she was building in her mother’s name was never, as she says, about her children.

Since Sheree won’t accept that the mansion isn’t about her kids, they never really go in depth on that topic.

I believe the mansion is about Sheree trying to validate her worth. She’s looking for what her father never gave her.

She tried to get it from Bob and that didn’t work.

Now she tries to get it from material things.

That won’t work either.

Sheree can only get what she’s looking for by going inside.

By connecting with her true self.

I know because I’ve been there.

I used to be Sheree.

I was angry and bitter until I decided not to be. Until I decided to accept reponsibility for my choices. And until I decided to forgive,

Angry people are wounded people. But wounds will heal if we let them.

First, we have to allow ourselves to see them.

I hope Sheree finds healing and the peace it brings.